Half luck dragon
Half the nothing
Half wishes and devotion
Half power and destruction
Picture Description: Ruger (100 lb Yellow Lab/St. Bernard Mix) has got a big green “gummy bear” toy in his mouth. It’s super close up. You can see his teeth and whiskers. And his big ol’ nose. His eyes are shining in the background. He’s got blonde fur and black around his nose and mouth.
My Ruger
Big round eyes to match his big brown nose.
Everyone is impressed by the size of his toes.
But his rather large size is so not the point,
Though it’s the very thing no one can ignore.
What that pup hides inside is so, so much more
than all his large toes and the big ‘ol nose and
the legs for days and the tail that causes disarray.
His pup sized mind has adventures and trouble to find,
He chooses the time when he’ll decide to mind
the calls to stop eating, sniffing, barking, pawing.
But then he’ll relent and everything turns out fine.
I often wonder what mysteries lay hidden behind those pretty eyes.
He knows how to push buttons and tread a thin line,
But he’s also learning to steal this heart of mine.
A puppy pile full of his favorite friends
is what he asks us for again and again.
When we leave him he’s sad.
When we return I can’t say he’s exactly glad
for his cries are irate as I walk through his gate
in frustration and indignation at my being late
for the daily rubbins and daily lovins that are now this pup’s fate.
His voice has many volumes, many words, many expressions
My goal in this life is to erase the ones that echo depression.
I know little of the bad days this pup had to endure
but I know the heart of this beast is kind and mature.
I will fill his tummy, rub his tummy, and hold him near.
I will laugh at those who don’t know his kind soul
as they stand a ways back in fear.
My pup is a kind one, a cute one, a smart guy.
So dear he is to me I can get over why
everyone he meets says beast, big, monster, or huge.
I think my pup has used his size as a ruse
to get his way- though it’s not so today.
For I can see his conniving mind working away
at getting pettings, food, or forcing someone to play.
One pig ear a day, two cups per meal
He doesn’t agree with this limited deal.
Insisting more treats for the tummy he tries to fill.
If I let him eat as he wished he would be big for real.
I cannot imagine how large would be the dog food bill,
If he ate every day until he reached his fill.
That long stride is so lean, the big shoulders look mean
but the stare on his face shows me something quite keen.
When he runs across his yard the sun casts a pretty sheen
on his suit made of fur, as he runs back for more.
A grin on his face, a pep in his step and a toy he adores.
Back there we play until he tells us “no more”.
This Mississippi heat he can no longer endure.
He leads the way making sure his happy tail we see
heading to the house for ice cubes and a/c.
Or to his very own pool as cool as the sea.
I think he now likes where he happens to be.
My little pup Ruger, with my husband and me.
When Ruger first started exploring his new home he was overly cautious. My 95 pound beast acted terrified around anything new a new room, a new corner, a new piece of furniture. As he explored he gained a little confidence, but it was slow going.
Since we got him from a shelter and only learned pieces of how he spent his first five years of life we were super lax in letting him settle in. I’ll give a little back story before I continue talking on and on about my dog: Just like with people, each dog has their own set of experiences, genetics, and personality traits. Ruger is 5 and a half years old now. He’s fully grown. I do regret that I did not get to see what he looked like as a puppy! But he’s still a glorious dog and I’m happy he’s my friend.
Something went wrong with his first family. My guess is they got this cute lab-mix puppy and (as often is the case) they were totally confused when those legs kept growing and that head kept filling out. He’s a big boy. (I spent a week away from Ruger but was near a Great Pyrenees. When I got home Ruger didn’t look any bit smaller than that big ol’ Pyrenees. Just shorter in the fur department.) So basically our understanding is that Ruger was put in the back yard and left there. Who knows how long the good days lasted; who knows how bad things got. Well Ruger does, but he hasn’t opened up about that just yet. Anyway after some time Ruger found himself in a dog shelter.
Again, I don’t know how long he was at the shelter. But that precious face of his caught the attention of a local pet rescuer/foster mom/volunteer type person who happened to show up at the right time. Ruger’s number was almost up when he was whisked away from the shelter. (I’ll not get on a kill vs no kill shelter soapbox. I’ll just remain eternally grateful that Ruger had good luck that day. It was totally that grin.)
So once again the pup was uprooted and living in an apartment in Memphis, TN. (Much better than a shelter!) He was crated, showed great manners and was placed on petfinder for me to snatch him up. I think the foster lady was a little overwhelmed at his size. I think everyone who has met Ruger has taken his size into account for how they treat him. The fact that his personality is so great and that he does have a sweet demeanour and cute puppy face has kept him going all these years. He’s a beautiful dog.
I keep saying he’s 95 pounds, but his frame can support all that weight. He’s full of muscles, not a chubby puppy. Those shoulders and that chest are impressive. No fat there, no siree.
So we brought this big ol’ beast home. He was terrified of a rake, a magnolia tree, some chairs, anything in the shadows and so on when he first started exploring this new home. Part of this routine was to avoid the back of the house. Somewhere halfway down our little hallway the mighty Ruger would pause and if I or my husband were not by his side he would back up and then turn around to go to the front of the house. It was safer there for some reason.
Our computer room is in the back of the house we spend time back there. Some days Ruger would walk all the way to the computer room, sometimes he would even brave a step inside the doorway. But after a moment passed he would turn and leave again. I would find him waiting at the safe end of the hall.
This went on for a while. So anytime I wanted to do anything on the computer I had to leave my pup. (Who needs LOTS of attention all the time.) One day I sat with him at the safe end of the hall. He sat beside me. I asked him what force field kept him from staying in the computer room for more than five seconds. (He didn’t really like the guest bedroom that much either and the cat was in the bedroom. We thought this might have something to do with his behaviour.) He wouldn’t tell me what the problem was but he let me pet him. Scritchins are always acceptable.
After we sat calmly together at the end of the hall for a few minutes I scooted about three feet further up the hall and looked back at him. He came over to me and sat down again beside me. So I picked back up on petting him and talking to him for another little while. (It was a Saturday and I had nothing to do but get to know my pup!)
I continued to scoot a few feet at a time. Each time he would make the few steps and then sit down again, really close to me. He has super soft fur! Eventually we were at the doorway to the computer room. All the other doors in the hall were closed. The computer room door was at the very end. I scooted into the room just a bit and he did follow. His nerves were clearly up a bit as we entered the threshold. I kept on petting him softly and talking to him sweetly. He did not bolt immediately.
I scooted a bit more in the room and held my arms out to him to come on a little more. I was sitting calmly almost in the middle of the room at this point. He stood there and looked at me square in the face. Once he knew he had my attention as in I was paying attention to what he had to say. He looked from me to the filing cabinet. He repeated this action a few times before standing and walking out of the room and back down the hall fairly quickly.
As soon as he made the gesture I knew what the problem was! We have an upright filing cabinet that stands to about four feet high. On top of the Filing Cabinet of Doom sat a life sized orc bust from LOTR. (Awesome find a while back. I regret not getting all of them!) Orcs, as you know, are not pretty, nice, or cuddly. Ruger had sized him up; my dog was smart enough to know that his 95 pound puppy frame could not win the battle against a six foot tall green, pierced orc. That is what had frightened him so.
I laughed so hard. My silly pup was afraid of an orc. It made so much sense. He had to look way up to see that scary face, and the filing cabinet served as the orc’s frame. Together they made an impressively scary beast. I got my husband’s attention and told him what was causing our puppy to be scared of the computer room. (He was probably working on a car out back.) He laughed too and threw a black shirt over the orc’s head. We called the puppy back into the room. (He was always willing to enter the room with us before he just never stayed for more than a moment.) Once he noticed that there was no longer a scary orc staring at him he got all wiggly and excited.
The orc is still covered up in our room, and Ruger is no longer afraid to hang out with us in the computer room. Now the hall is a comfortable place and not the entrance way to an unwinnable battle with a green orc.
The compter room is my husband’s cave. He gets to decorate it. (Though I found and bought the orc.) One of the other items in the room is a demonic looking teddy bear with gnarly teeth and claws. I think it was a prop or Halloween decoration from long ago. Husband had it before I came along. The bear sits in the computer room on a shelf and comes out to the front of the house in the middle of October. Anyway once Ruger had determined that the main threat of the orc had been dealt with he started noticing other things in the room. The scary teddy bear was the next thing that caught his attention once the orc threat had been dealt with. I watched him stare at that bear and stare and stare. When the bear did not attack him he would move a little closer and sniff the air. He eventually determined that the bear was not overly hostile and the smaller size of the bear did not make it an unwinnable battle should the bear decide to make his move. (Unlike the six-foot tall orc, Ruger was not going to take any risks there.) So now Ruger ignores the filing cabinet, the orc, the bear and happily hangs out with us without all that stress and the fear. I love my pup! And I’m glad we were able to take away some stressors in his life.
I don’t know what in Ruger’s past has made him so fearful. I probably don’t need to know. All I know is I have a kind-hearted dog who had a rough life before he got to us. He is fearful or at least anxious around new things and scares easily but once the insecurity and fear passes he is a wonderful, happy, wiggly, friend. I will use my patience to learn this animal and what he needs. We will work to make the next years of his life much more fun, stable, and full of lovin’s. Yup. Silly orcs.
Last 4th of July we let our sweet, sweet princess go. Petra does not need a blog entry for there are already so many souls that she touched. I don’t know if Ruger will ever steal as many hearts as that blonde princess did in her 14 years. Her quiet wisdom, pink nose, wiggliness, I won’t say focus because she was a blonde with ADD but she was smart, she was sweet and I will miss her always and remember her well.
Chillin in her yard.
After Petra found her place in the backyard I felt an immediate hole in our house. I had the husband, cat and hamster. But no dog. The sunshine that Petra brought was missed. The cat loved being the center of attention, but she did not use that attention the same way a dog would. Dogs share in the fun, want you to be included. The cat just wants to suck in all of your attention. The mood in our house dropped a good bit. No one welcomed us home happily. The cat just sat on the table giving us a smug look of “oh, you’re home.” I needed more. I wanted a four-legged friend to take camping, to play in the yard with, to cuddle with, to pet. I do all of these with my husband but together we were missing an element that had helped to fill our happy life: puppy dog grins! (My husband has a cute smile- just not as enthusiastic.)
I got on the internets and started looking for a dog. My requirements were lab-ish, big, female, cat friendly and house trained. After that I was open to suggestions. Even now I think of two yellow labs that came as a pair- one was blind and the other was the guide dog. Perfect match! But they were in Oregon a bit too far for this Mississippi girl. Besides those dogs would be ticked off when they learned how hot it stays around here and they’d probably miss playing in the snow. I signed up with the local shelters but they were not too helpful. I asked for a lab and they’d say “We’ve got this great “other breed” with “this problem” and “these traits that I didn’t ask for” and I’d have to tell her no again and again.
I had to be strong and not take in the first cute, needy animal that I looked at. This was to be a big participating member of our family and had to fit in somehow. I already told myself I wasn’t falling for the puppy trick. Oh no. I don’t have the time at home to raise a puppy, but we do have the time to take in a sweet pup who’d grown into her paws and was ready to play with her new family. So no pups, and I dug my heels in on the Lab factor. I’d take a mix, but the face had to be lab. I NEED my lab fix. I blame Zane, my mother’s first guide dog a big ol’ sweet black lab… Or maybe it was Bebe the big blonde lab that lived at my mom’s best friend’s house when I was itty bitty. Bebe was my first four-legged friend. I was often the only kid at that house. Bebe and I would play quietly together all day long, just me and the pup in the backyard. Good times. Who were we talking about again? Oh right. Ruger….
So I start the search. Any time I was on a computer, at my phone or pausing I would look for our next dog! My husband always lets me do the shopping so I would just show him the dogs that caught my attention to get his reaction. There were so many cute puppies out there. (I use the term pup and puppy too loosely. I called my 14 year old “dog” a cute “puppy” but mainly because that was Petra and she was a diva. You never tell a diva that she’s aging. And now it’s stuck that way in my head so most dogs are pups to me.)
There were a few listings that I kept an eye one that I wanted to go get. I have had Ruger now for half a year and if I looked on the Petfinder site and saw two specific dogs were still there I’d probably cry. So I won’t. I’ll just hope the cute yellow lab and that tiny black lab found a home. I can’t save (feed) all of them. Have to keep telling myself this. (I didn’t get on Petfinder today but I did check an animal shelter right quick to see if this awesome pup was still there… Didn’t see her. Hope that’s a good thing. Star was an awesome little pup.) I kept a favorites list of all the dogs I’d like to take home with me. I’d show my hubby and see what he thought. I emailed a few shelters and foster parents to see about certain dogs. I was going to pick our cute blonde lab out of the mix one of these times! Or that’s what I told myself anyway.
One of the many days we spent at the computer I ran another search for yellow labs, large-extra large, adult-senior but forgot the gender check box. This pretty yellow lab with an awesome grin appeared on my screen. I stuck him in the favorites section and later in the day when I showed my husband this round’s list of contenders he said “That dog.” when he saw Ruger’s picture. I’d confidently say that 90% of the time I only looked at Female Yellow or Black Labs. Somehow this one snuck past and grabbed my husband’s attention. There were plenty of listings where he said “sure that’s a pretty dog” or “I’ll accept any dog you want” or “I trust your judgement” or something else non-committal. I am the dog person, so he was appeasing me and I’m sure he’d be happy with any dog I picked out so I didn’t take offense. But none of the dogs had struck me as “This is the dog!!!” Which is exactly the reaction my husband gave upon seeing and reading about Ruger.
You could talk me into taking any cute dog home if ya tried hard enough. I had looked at special needs and retired service animals too. Give em all to me! Three legged, deaf, just as long as they like to play in the back yard and not pee all over my house! My husband is not the extreme dog lover that I am. He appreciates them- but he didn’t grow up with big furry beasts around the house all the time. I’ve almost always had a lab or a rot around the house. So when he was adamant about this being an acceptable choice for our new dog I jumped right in.
I started the email/phone/application process. Ruger was a courtesy listing at a shelter. There were a few pretty labs at the shelter too so before driving the three hours to look at one dog I arranged to meet a few more pups while we were up there. Who knows maybe Ruger wouldn’t like us? So after all the forms were accepted and my house was inspected and we were not rejected we planned our trip. (No really, a lady in Memphis, TN used the animal rescue/foster network to find a person in Jackson, MS to come take pictures of my home before I could go get the dog. They were all nice about it.)
We went to the shelter first and met two pretty but skittish female black labs. If I had the time I would have gladly taken one of them with me, but they needed a good bit of work and more attention than I could provide. They didn’t claim us and we didn’t claim them. They were happy to go back to their pen. The shelter owner showed us another one since she knew we liked labs. It was pretty much a perfect miniature black lab. Small, ankle-height and full of energy. She was black all over and her name was Star. She did steal our hearts and I think about her even now. (Fighting the urge to call the shelter though I’m pretty sure she found a home months ago; she was just too cute!) But we made the trip to see Ruger too. We told the shelter lady that we would contact her should the next dog not work out for us and arrange to come back and get Star. (She was too small in my opinion but her personality won me over. But the shelter lady assured us they would have no problem finding a home for Star.) We got back in our car to go to a dog park an hour away to meet Ruger.
Ruger was being fostered with two small dogs in an apartment. The foster mom didn’t think the small apartment was the best way to meet such a large dog. So we met up in a park. They were easy to spot. Ruger was chasing a tennis ball. The foster mom was using a tennis racket to get the ball moving fast and far enough for the big lab to really run. He was 95 pounds of happy lab. He liked us immediately, but he also got along with the other people and dogs at the park. When he took off for his ball he would stop and chat with whoever was nearby. There was a skinny great dane or a fat greyhound that Ruger chatted with as well as some people passing by and a few ankle biters. He was nice to everyone and always came back to his foster mom.
He let us throw the ball for him and he let us pet him. We were convinced that this was a good dog. So we handed the nice lady some cash and convinced Ruger to get in our car. (Our car being an 89 Camaro.) I put the back seat down and laid a blanket over it for him so he wouldn’t be fighting with bucket seats. I knew from the pictures and description that he was big, but it was never so apparent as when he sat hunched over with little room in the back of my car. He rode well, looked around, sniffed at us and didn’t complain until we got a good ways down the road. He got my attention and let me know it was serious. I got my husband to pull over and we let the pup relieve himself. He did great on his leash, did his business and hopped back in the car. He drank water from us when we made another stop. The rest of the ride went well.
Ruger otw home!
At home that night we worked to get to know him some more. He had a few toys with him but we had not bought anything else since we didn’t know we were for certain getting a dog. We had food and bowls from Petra to hold Ruger over for the first few days. (Oh noes! Not yummy canned dog food! I bet he misses those days.)
I gave him a blue blanket the first night for his puppy bed. Now I call him Linus (from Peanuts) because he loves that blue blanket so much now! There are a few holes and a lot of blonde fur on it, but it’s the bees knees as far as Ruger is concerned.
The next day I got supplies for him which consisted of the most durable items in the store. The biggest bed they had, the biggest bones, a big ol’ bag of food, some oversized tennis balls and the most durable squeaky stuffed toy I could find. It was really happening. I had a pup in my house again. We had a smiling, wiggling friend to cheer us up and keep us on our toes!
Oh and his fancy big dog bed has that blue blanket draped over it even now. It’s his, he needs it. His grandma threw it on the back porch (while we were gone) because it was torn up. (She didn’t know it was pure gold to Ruger- she just saw a tattered blanked covered in dog hair.) The first thing we did when we got home was to wash it and return it to him. Ruger was not so pleased with the smell of detergent but he was happy to have his blanket back.
Ruger
Ruger is a 95lb, five year old, Labrador mix. We have determined that he is a Labranard (Golden/Yellow Labrador Retriever mixed with a St. Bernard.) He has a big ol’ head and a 37” chest. But his face is the sweetest. He doesn’t show his tummy that much, but he does need to be touched all the time. He’s great outdoors, always stays nearby and fetches and listens fairly well. Oh and he drinks like a camel. And he’s crafty. He uses his paws well. He knows when to slow down and move gently but he cannot keep from banging that big old square head on tables and chairs. It doesn’t seem to bother him though.
A lot has happened as we’ve gotten to know this pup of ours. As I mentioned it’s now March and we’ve lived together for almost half a year. I want to record some of our adventures. Since he came home with us after Thanksgiving we haven’t had much outside fun yet. I tell him he will have a pool once it warms up and that there will be many camping trips in his future. He’s not convinced yet. The rain and snow have not helped to convince him.
Oh and he has a one tracked mind. If he thinks you have a toy you have the toy and he will not move his attention until you lead him to the toy and convince him otherwise. Same thing with the cat. Once she’s out its “cat, cat, cat, cat”. They’re separated at the moment. We’re working on that. He doesn’t care about the hamster at all and the hamster doesn’t care about Ruger. Two different universes there I guess. So there are still a lot of “firsts” to happen soon. I’ll record them here. A few tales I need to add when I have a moment: ice cream, cat, snow, orc, and vet. But for now we have this awesome dog that we get to know. And his name is Ruger. He’s waiting for me to get home, but when I get home he won’t be waiting at the door. After I call him he will be plastered by my or my husband’s side until we retire for the evening. Silly dog. I love him so bad!
That’s my sweet, goofy pup.
Erina the Faery 